I ask only for the strength to defend my people.

The Last Great Measure of a Man
( 2005-03-26 @ 1:58 a.m. )

"The Representative From Florida Has The Floor!"

Again, the Ivy woman returneth.

I REALLY wanted to update before now, but talk about busy! So I shall give you a brief run-down of events and then get on to the point I am damn determined to make tonight.

So, firstly the Ivy update.

I have been depply entrenched in political work latley. It all started with a County Council meeting. Yes I was asked to go to a REAL County Council meeting with some of my fellow colleagues from the Democratic Club.

The cause was to speak out against Diebold voting machines for Volusia County. These are the evil voting machines that have no voter verifiable paper trail. Also their CEO said during the Presidential election he would "Deliver the state of Ohio for George Bush." Also, most of your ATM and credit card machines are MADE by Diebold, so will someone PLEASE tell me why they can make a reciept for those machines, but not for their voting mcahines?

Yea, didn't think so, I dont know why either. No one did.

So my going was last minute. I was NOT prepared to speak I didn't WRITE a statement. Jack, one of the people I went with did, and I thought as we drove the 45 minutes to Deland "Great, he can speak for us."

I was wrong. We arrived and to our delight there were 150 something Democrats there. They started handing out petition slips for us to speak. I figured I would fill it out anyway {If you dont fill it out you CANNOT speak} and they most likley wouldnt get to me.

So in we all filed wearing our "Paper not Vapor" buttons {as in paper trails not vapor trails}. We settled in, and I realized I had not written a DAMN thing.

So I sat there, listening to the County take care of other buisness. Intimidating let me tell you, 4 Republicans, 3 Dems and my advesary, Volusia County Supervisor of Elections Ann McFall on the other side of the room to argue for the Diebold machines.

And I still had NO IDEA what I wanted to say, but I figured if they DID get to me, I would just waive my right to speak. No biggie.

Then once they move on to our point of buisness they say they will allow time for everyone to speak.

Crap, not in my plans. So they allow Susan Pinchon {Our Champion against Diebold to speak} and then Mcfall. I hate Ann Mcfall, she hates me...long story.

So then the citizens begin to speak. Jack goes up there and kicks ass, does an amazing job.

Then Frank Bruno, the County Council Chairman calls my name, and I just put down my purse and march up there. I still have no clue what I'm doing, I mean these are actual elected officials.

Meanwhile on the march to the podium which is situated so ALL SEVEN members can stare at me Im thinking...."Dont fuck up Ivy, Democracy rides on this."

So I go up there and start off "Good Afternoon Mr Chairman, Members of the Council." I also realize I AM THE ONLY person in that room under 30.......

Scary.......

So I go into this five minute explination of how imperative it is people my age be encouraged to vote and how they will NOT vote if their rights are not protected, and if they feel as though their votes do not count.

I explained to preserve a democracy it must be fair and transpaarent, and that if people in Iraq were willing to DIE to vote, should we not provide our citizens with basic voters rights? I said I wanted to be a politician myself, but I could not in good consience support something that was detrimental to not only my state but my country. I said we had to set an example for future generations.

I said a bunch of stuff, then I took a deep breath, thanked the council and sat down.

I got a standing ovation.

I blushed and tried to hide under my chair.

Jack and Carol drug me out.

AND...we won, the county decided NOT to vote on the machines there at that time. They said they were completley unconvinced that Diebold machines were a good idea and they felt backed into a corner and they would have none of that. So UNANIMOUSLY they voted to wait a few months ot gather more information and to get other machiens certified for Florida, machines WITH voter verifiable paper trails.

The Republicans voted UNANIMOUSLY with the Dems, how often does THAT happen?

Not often.

As we arose to leave, County Chairman, Frank Bruno, one of three Dems stopped and talked to us. He shook my hand, said I spoke eloquently and that I reminded him of John Edwards because I spoke with my hands.

Gee, WONDER WHERE I GOT THAT FROM?

I wasnt nervous, I passed my own test. I knew if I did this I was meant to be a politician, if I couldnt...well I wasnt.

As we drove back Carol said I was absolutley beautiful and "Not Scatterbrained". This is Carol's idea of a compliment, bless her craziness, I love her!LOL!

As we drove back, all of a sudden a bird swooped and dove right over the hood of Jack's Durango. Nor ordinary bird, it was a bald eagle. Talk about a sign. We took it as an omen........Watch out people, we are coming BACK STRONG in '06 and '08.

Then that night I went to a moveonpac.org party, and we divided into teams, guess who got appointed team leader?

Yep.....me........so now I am officially a team leader, hey if you are interested in joining and doing work in your own state E-MAIL ME....I can and WILL officially make you part of my team "One Revolution 54th"

It really is fun.

Also on the political front between myself and my Hero-Friend Thor we e-mailed the Senate like three tiems in one week! On Social Security, Terry Schiavo {I SUPPORT her right to live people}, and other issues. Yep, THOR kicks so much ass it's pathetic.

He's way cooler than me.

He's like......well he just rocks. Hell he joined my moveon team and helped us call Senators. Yes we called Senators. I went to a candlelight vigil for the second anniversary of the war in Iraq.

My motto is "Stupid Wars Suck Stupidly".

And um...they do.

Enough said.

IF YOU ARE WILLING TO MAKE LAYOUTS GET AHOLD OF ME E-MAIL ME!....I have made a few new diaries and I NEED LAYOUTS...I will provide ALL pictures and hosting, I promise they will be fun, challenging and I will bake and send you COOKIES!

Jesus, look at this entry., and Im not even on my little rant thing yet.

Ok, for those of you who hate history......um, might not wanna read this, you may fall asleep. For those who love me ENOUGH to slog through this, I swear, I'll give you a medal.

This is going to be long, and dis-jointed so muddle with me.

Keep a few phrases in mind before I continue.

"The last Gallant Rush".

"Where Death and Glory Meet".

So.....you guys have trusted me to open your minds before on subjects you were not famillar with, or to bring magic into your lives. Allow me to do that again, EVEN if the subject matter sounds boring give me the benefit of the doubt.

So we move on.

The Civil War.

Some basic facts. The BLOODIEST war in American History. PERIOD. Hundreds of THOUSANDS died, estimates over two HUNDRED thousand.

It has been a fascination of mine since I was 12 or thirteen.

The civil war was NOT just about slavery. It was REALLY about bravery...on BOTH sides.

It was the last real man to man war this country had.

Most people cannot name a single battle minus Gettysburg. Let's try Antietam {The single bloodiest one day battle in Civil War history.}Seven Day's Battle, The Battle of Seven Pines....Fredricksburg, Charleston South Carolina and the poignant assault on Fort Wagner.........

Yes, I know....WHO CARES?

I do. I had FAMILY in the Civil War, Virginia to be exact, under the command of REAL MEN like Robert E. Lee, Stonewall Jackson, and General Pickett.

But just so I do not sound biased I hold the same love and admiration for the North, Cap. Chamberlain, Beauregard, Hancock and last but NOT least Col Robert Shaw.

So I am NOT biased here, before we even go there I wanted to straighten that out. I have a actual civil war bullet, in a piece of tree trunk that may father's father and so on back carved out of a tree at the Battle of Seven Pines..it was meant for him......it missed. He carved it out, Family Heriloom ever since.

There are alot of Civil war heirlooms in my family, a uniform, a bayonet and pistol...letters....but I digress.

So many peopel have FORGOTTEN this war, these men...but I can tell you, the stories read just as fascinating and as valiant as any work of fiction...........be it King Arthur or LOTR. Trust me they do. These people were giants, GODS amongst men.

And it really happened, it is OUR history........

Let me tell you, it is a RARE GIFT to be able to touch your Nation's HISTORY....to touch and feel and SEE the very place where Ginats walked and fought, where men KNEW they were marching to their death but they did so out of love, honor, pride and FEARLESSNESS.

That is amazing.

I have been to these places, some of them. Virginia in Fredricksburg and Manassas, North Carolina and yes even Gettysburg.

I have cried in these places, I have stood atop the hill of little roundtop at twilight and I knew what freedom tasted like and smelled like. I understood for a brief tick in time what those men had fought for, and I silently understood.

I have bowed my head in Fredricksburg, and touched trees that srvived the war. I have heard in my ears the shouts and cries of the wounded, and I have heard the strains of Amazing Grace played by the solemn Irish Brigade.........

But let me tell you about some of these men. Stonewall Jackson.

Where in the hell did he get that name?

Whilst in the heat of oen of his first battles, on horseback cannon volley from the Union began crossing the Confederate firing line. Yet Jackson did not flinch, he gave no quarter but remaiend solid and formiddable as cannon exploded inches form him.

A regimental captain rallied hsi troops by saying "THERE stands Jackson like a STONE WALL! RALLY' ROUND VIRGINIA!"

Jackson was asked once why he remaiend so calm in battle. His answer is the quote that made me admire this man and stick a painting of him on my bedroom door.

"Captain, my religious belief teaches me to feel as safe in battle as in bed. God has fixed the time for my death. I do not concern myself about that, but to be always ready, no matter when it may overtake me." He added, after a pause, looking me full in the face: "That is the way all men should live, and then all would be equally brave"

If that is not as good as any piece of fiction, then you are insane.

Jackson in 1862

"This army stays here until the last wounded man is removed. Before I will leave them to the enemy, I will lose many more men. "

In 1861 to his own troops.

"Through the broad extent of country over which you have marched by your respect for the rights and property of citizens, you have shown that you were soldiers not only to defend but able and willing both to defend and protect."

1861

"No, you greatly overestimate my capacity for usefulness. A better man will soon be sent to take my place. "

"What is life without honor? Degradation is worse than death."

to his nephew in 1861

"I am in favor of making a thorough trial for peace, and if we fail in this and our state is invaded, to defend it with terrific resistance. "

Jackson's love for Virginia came first........when he was wounded by friendly fire and lost his arm General Robert E. Lee said

"He may have lost his left arm Sir, but I have griveously lost my right hand."

Stonewall Jackson was beloved by the people of Virginia, he still is.

When he died the impact on General Lee was astounding. Stonewall Jackson is one of the civil war military men I adore, he is a large part of why the film "Gods and Generals" was named as such.

Another good one.

"Gen. 'Stonewall' Jackson: General Hood, do you expect to survive to the end of this war?

General John Bell Hood: Well, I don't know, General Jackson; but I like to think that I will. I do not know that I will survive unwounded however.

Gen. 'Stonewall' Jackson: I do not expect to survive to the end of this war; and, failing victory, I do not know that I would choose to. "

His dying words were.

"Let us cross over the river and rest under the shade of the trees. "

This however is one of his best quotes, so I will end speaking of him with this. He said this to rally his own troops.

"In the Army of the Shenandoah, you were the First Brigade! In the Army of the Potomac you were the First Brigade! In the Second Corps of this Army, you are the First Brigade! You are the First Brigade in the affections of your general, and I hope by your future deeds and bearing you will be handed down the posterity as the First Brigade in this our Second War of Independence. Farewell! "

On to Lawrence Chamberlain. Union. I once portrayed him in a civil war re-enactment, and DO NOT BOTHER telling me I am a girl, I ALL READY KNOW THAT.

Chamberlain was a teacher and philosopher and poet before joining the Union cause. He did so simply because he believed it was the "right" thing to do.

He wound up in Gettysburg, the Battle of Little Round Top. His division was the flank, given orders to "HOLD under ANY circumstances". They were given this order with little assistance and little ammo. If they were forced to retreat the entire Union army would be flanked and overun.

He stood fast. His men endured four or five charges by Confederates, the hill becomign bloody as each Confederate wave charged fearlessley up that hill.

Soon Chamberlain's men ran out of ammo. They could not hold another confederate attack.

Joshua Chamberlain put on a brave face and looked at his men.

"Men! READY BAYONETS! We must not be flanked!"

Tired, weary injured soldiers stood tall and fixed their bayonets.

Perhaps one of the best quotes from Chamberlain came here.

As the Confederates surged in a gray wave up the hill Joshua valiantly charged forward and shouted lously.

"20TH MAINE! FORWARD CHARGE!"

They indeed charged into a volley of bullets with only bayonets...and they kept the Union Army from being flanked single-handedly. Chamberlain did this under extraordinary circumstances, most of his regiment were dead, lay dying or wounded.

Here is my favorite quote from him.

"Joshua Lawrence Chamberlain-20th Maine-
(At the end of the first day's fighting at Fredericksburg...)

But out of that silence rose new sounds more appalling still; a strange ventriloquism, of which you could not locate the source, a smothered moan, as if a thousand discords were flowing together into a key-note weird, unearthly, terrible to hear and bear, yet startling with its nearness; the writhing concord broken by cries for help, some begging for a drop of water, some calling on God for pity; and some on friendly hands to finish what the enemy had so horribly begun; some with delirious, dreamy voices murmuring loved names, as if the dearest were bending over them; and underneath, all the time, the deep bass note from closed lips too hopeless, or too heroic, to articulate their agony...It seemed best to bestow myself between two dead men among the many left there by earlier assaults, and to draw another crosswise for a pillow out of the trampled, blood-soaked sod, pulling the flap of his coat over my face to fend off the chilling winds, and still more chilling, the deep, many voiced moan that overspread the field. "

Chamberlain survived the war.

Next and lastly I move on to my most venerated hero of the Civil War. Col Robert Gould Shaw. Colonel of the 54th Massachusets Regiment, the first african american regiment in the Civil War.

Colonel Shaw occupies a large portion of my heart.

Let me share some of his story.

I am not sure I can articulate him properly but I will try. His story needs to be told. Lest we all forget.

Robert Gould Shaw is best remembered in history as the brave colonel who led the 54th Massachusetts in their fearless charge at Fort Wagner. But what makes him an extraordinary individual lies beyond this noble deed. In what would be a few months with the regiment, Shaw's remarkable personal growth found him transformed from "an ordinary mortal" to a compassionate and selfless leader who "laid down his life" for his men and "for a race." This is what makes him a true hero.

His past is unremarkable. His deeds however elevate him to be the epitome, the very paradigm of the wrod "Hero".

His men, since they were black soldiers were used only for manual labor, Robert fough this valinatly. His regiment was promised to be payed 13.00 a month, when todl they would only be payed 10.00 they ripepd up their pay stubs, Shaw shot off hsi pistol to get their attention and then proclaimed "If you men will NOT take pay, then none of us will". He then tore his own pay to shreds.

Allow me to skip forward to the end of his story, the assault on Fort Wagner.

Fifteen days after the Battle of Gettysburg another Colonel of the same Union Army led the first African American Regiment into the hell fire of assaulting Fort Wagner South Carolina, birth place of the rebellion and home of slaves. Robert Gould Shaw, son of wealthy Massachusetts Abolitionists, had much to lose by volunteering for service. Colonel Shaw in 1863 was requested and appointed to form a Regiment of African American soldiers, the first of its kind. Colonel Shaw trained, led and died with the 54th Massachusetts Regiment. After getting this unique Regiment disciplined and winning the respect of his men, he proved to all America, that African Americans, many who were runaway slaves as well as educated members of society, could fight bravely under devastating conditions.

The General of his Brigade asked Shaw if he and his men would lead the initial assault on Fort Wagner located on a shoreline that protected Charleston, South Carolina. In order for the Union Armies to assault Charleston, the forts had to be overrun. At dusk on July 18th 1863, Shaw formed his Regiment among the great cheers of White Union soldiers who would support the 54th. Under cover of darkness the Regiment charged Fort Wagner with an extreme intensity and with the young Colonel Shaw leading from the front of the columns. As the heavy Confederate guns tore the 54th into pieces, Shaw and part of his Regiment made it to the steep, sandy walls of the fort. As Shaw ordered his men to charge he was shot through by musket fire. He fell into the fort never to be seen again by his men or his family. You see, because Colonel Shaw led African American soldiers against the forces of the Confederate States of America, he was never given the officer's courtesy of having his body returned to his family. Instead Shaw was thrown into a pit and the bodies of his men were thrown on top of him sealing them forever into a mass grave. His Father and Mother would ask Union commanders after the war not to disturb the grave; for the glory and honor of their deeds are a witness to generations yet born.

Colonel Shaw, as he looked out at the power and beauty of the oceans that day on the beaches of South Carolina - like I am sure he did so many times back home in Massachusetts - must have known that he would die that very day. Never to come home again, never to have a child, never to have the comforts of every day living, he sacrificed himself for his country, for the cause of a Race, and for simply doing his duty. He was 26 years old. 180,000 African Americans would serve in the Union Armies after Fort Wagner and President Lincoln would give them their deserved credit for the victory over the Confederacy.

I have two quotes from him that will always remain in my heart.

"They who would be FREE, themselves must strike the blow."

And the most poignant quote from the Civil War.....

"ONWARD 54TH!"

Robert yelled this in the final seconds before his death.

This year I will be tackling the toughest event. One I have dreaded, I will make my pilgrimage to Fort Wagner, though I have avoided it for years. Something draws me there, and finally I will go.

And for those of you who do not think the Civil War is comporable to the best fiction, my final essay in Honors English is a written comparison of Robert Shaw and Boromir entitled "The Last Great Measure of a Man."

So think of what I have said here before you deem history "boring" or trite. Never forget these men fought and died for their rights, and I only HOPE I would be as fearless, for not attributes matter more than Honor and Fearlessness in the face of staunch opposition.

Now before I cry I am going to go. For God's sake go wach "Glory" about Colonel Shaw, or "Gettysburg" or "Gods and Generals". BUT AT LEAST sign my guestbook and tell me I have made a point with all this, it took a LOOOONNNNGGGGG time to write. I appreciate feedback.

Also I have started a civil war novel, check my writing diary, I will have it up this weekend.

Until Then

Home Is Behind // The World Ahead