I ask only for the strength to defend my people.

Stop Thinking So Small, Believe in The Politics of Hope.
( 2005-01-08 @ 10:34 p.m. )

You know, I have always admired some people's eloquence. Laure, Alix, Elnara, Jamie...tons of others. Oh how I ached, I yearned to be an eloquent speaker/writer. Sadly, I have come to discover I am more of an Eminem than a J.F.K. I'm not so eloquent, though I am trying to learn. It's true, I'm not very "Flowy" either. I always wanted to have these qualities. Intelligence, motivation, strength and the ability to be inspiring. The qualities of a good leader. Someone who is unafraid in the face of adversity. Someone whom you cannot simply "pass off".

I dont know if I have those qualities. I know I lack patience, eloquence and many other things. I do know it's trial by fire though. I'm sticking my neck out and what I lack I will just learn. I just want to inspire people, that is my greatest aspiration Inspire people to wake up, open their eyes, see and believe. BELIEVE in what your fighting for. After all, break that word down. Be-Lie-Ve. Well, I know which part speaks to me. In the immortal words of my hero I choose to "Be" inspired. To inspire. My highest aspiration is to be an inspiration. Even if only to one person. If I fall, I will get back up a million times if I must. I will not be assimilated or pre-fabricated.

I'm to good for that. I am an activist damnit! I love that word, it implies SO MUCH. I'll tell you what though, getting a fire lit up underyour ass is easy, keeping it lit...not so easy. I am notoriously impatient. Big flaw. I want results NOW, or better yet, YESTERDAY. I finish one job and go "Great, ok...done, now give me something else." I hop right on to the next task. Heaven forbid I am left idle. I start doing crazy shit just to keep busy. I'm very dedicated to my work. I ALWAYS knew I was a case of "Heaven fucking FORBID I find something I love to do".

Twenty something years later. Enter politics. Next thing you know I'm abosrbing books and terminology at a rapid fire pace. I'm a dork. As I write this {in my notebook to later be transcribed into my diary} I am celebrating "Gods and Generals" being on HBO {I <3 The Civil War}, reading a political dictionary and cross-refrencing and looking over notes for the Federal voter fraud case here in Florida which I shall be attending {GO ME!} If I must I iwllpetition, re-district, protest, write about, and do every last bit of this political work singlehandedly. I dont have to do that though, I have Thor and Beckers!

So here I am. This incredible geek who reads political and law dictionaries and spends her time making petitions, writing letters and e-mails to Senators and trying to better her political system.

As if I ever thought I would be here. Because I most certainly did not. I had no idea. I am amazingly blessed however to be in this situation. It has enabled me to do the one thing I have always struggled with. One thing almost everyone struggles with.

Thinking to small. Oh sure, it sounds like it isn't a big deal. We are all guilty of it however and I have found that to be more true than ever now working in politics.

I did it all the time. Never thought of the wider impact. Most of us throw the stone and pay attention only to the ripples then we walk away and forget we even threw the damn stone.

That's the general attitude of humanity. The stone however has long-reaching effects of it's own. Most people do not realize that. I didn't, now I do.

It's the most important lesson I have ever learned. Stop thinking so small. If I don't like something, I dont just protest, I make a petition, I write letters to the editors of local newspapers, hell I write e-mails to journalists on MSNBC......

I stopped thinking so small. The only way one can truly succeed is to be "pro-active" not "reactive".

Remember that, and remember thinking to small is a crime against yourself.

Now, some more random Ivy facts.

1. I watch the History Channel. Alot. At least once a day because I can always find something to fascinate me.

2. My only irrational fear is a giant squid. NO I am NOT kidding.

3. I believe in reincarnation and think I know about some of my past lives.

4.I am a sucker for stuffed animals-plushies.

5. Boys dont like me. I scare them. Oh well.

6. I want a fuschia pink bunny rabbit.

7. I drink to much chai.

8. I AM an activist.

9. I am completley, utterly, HOPELESSLEY addicted to politics.

10. The evil queen from Snow White is one of my heroes.

11. If I ever get married {I AM NOT...damnit} I'd like to be married in a kimono.

12. I have a poster, of Johnny Depp in a bathtub on my ceiling.

13. I am the future of America, be afraid, BE VERY AFRAID.

14. When I get angry, it gets ugly, as Fox News, better yet, ask Sean Hannity...BWHA!

15. I always talk with my hands.

16. I make up "Ivy-Isms" Beckers helps alot.

17. I only truly HATE three people.

18. At one point I nearly went into the Air Force {Work for this democracy of hypocrisy, dunno WTF I was thinking.}

19.I also considered a career as a political assasin.

20. I'm not "down" with the "moral majority". Yes YOU...you people know who you are.

21.I love toasted sesame seeds.

22. I am fascinated by the paranormal and want to be a ghost-hunter as a hobby.

23. I curse alot.

24. I consider Krispy Kreme doughnuts a VALID food catergory, along with Dr. Pepper.

25. I sleep as if at war {hunkered over on my side as if in a foxhole, clutching my pillow as if an AK-47}.

That is all people. Just a random entry, take from it what you will.

I love you all.

Home Is Behind // The World Ahead