I ask only for the strength to defend my people.

My FRELLING Christmas/Birthday List!
( 2004-10-09 @ 2:20 a.m. )

"Look, you like D+D, Audrey Hepburn, Croquet and Harry Houdini. You can't swim, you can't dance, your never gonna make it!"

"I dont wanna make it, I just...wanna..."

Yes, exactly, that's a little insert from My Chemical Romance's video for "I'm not Ok I Promise" which has plenty to do with me. Latley I feel as if I have been living in a perpetual music video...seriously scary here folks! I'm somewhere between afore-mentioned video and various Modest Mouse videos including cartoon sheep and people dressed as bunnies...such is my life. Seriously though, everything is so frigging surreal, and everything is just a damn rollercoaster and I cant seem to decide if I am ok or not. That's rather annoying to say the least, but I march on nonetheless. Now exactly where I'm going, well I haven't the vaguest clue, I really dont but still I march towards the void because sometimes wheen seeking something to fill a void one must look in the last place for this thing, they must look within the void itself. So Pardon me please while I run to the edge of the cliff and have a peek over, hopefully within this void I shall find answers, and my missing >socks!

In other news, after now thouroughly having listened to Modest Mouse's "The Moon and Antastica" a few million times I realize I UNDERSTAND Modest Mouse/Isaac Brock, then I thought, wait a minute, what the hell does that say about me? If you haven't heard them you may not get it, if you have you probably do get it, that's a scary thought, but scary in a good way. I mean ok, I write here alot about "Rancid this, Rancid that....GO LISTEN TO RANCID!" because that of course is my favorite band. I often prattle ceaselessley about their virtues and have got many of you to lend a open ear to their exploits, turning many of you into fans. Well someone did that for me with Modest Mouse so now in turn, I do the same. Hopefully some of you will start picking up a few MM c.d.'s and give them a try. Why should you?

Well let's go with the obvious first,Rancid is my favorite band, I have never found a band be-fitting of putting on such a high pedestal along with them. I believe I even specifically said once no such band existed, especially not outside the genre of punk rock. I stand mightily corrected. Modest Mouse goes right up onto that pedastal, very deservingly might I add. No, I'm not kidding. Ok, so they are not punk rock, now I listen to alot more than just punk rock, but stuff like Modest Mouse, well I wasn't into the Indie scene to much. Yet again, I stand corrected. These guys are up on par with Rancid, that is for damn sure, and if you know me at all, me saying that means something.

Another reason being this band.....when you listen to the c.d.'s they create within you a feeling that I haven't felt anywhere else. Ok, once again using Rancid as a example, they instill within me this motivating fire to get up and speak, get up and do something, to educate people about my culture of punk rock. Modest Mouse also instills a feeling. A different feeling, this sort of thing where the people who listen to them change a bit. We start walking around with slightly sarcastic smiles as if we know the secrets of the universe and no one else does. It's a elusive feeling really, but every time I put in a c.d., WHAM! It comes right back. Believe me people, finding a band that does that is rare.

Thirdly. This music, these songs. It makes you THINK! Yea, ok so maybe some of you dont want to be bothered with music like that, but if you scratch the surface just the tiniest bit, behind all of the sarcasm, and ironic jokes there's a deeper meaning. There's little hints and clues, little riddles and snippets of wisdom. It's enchanting and intriguing all at once! That is also a rather rare thing in music now a days. They are inspiring, I have written so many things just listening to them, poems, short stories, diary entries, letters, complete nonsense..........but they are inspiring, and they make your brain work!

Also, listening to them is almost like a spiritual experience, now I'm not about to go and proclaim Isaac Brock as the messiah {Don't tempt me here people, I blaspheme enough as it is} but it's intense. The music is intense, the lyrics are intense, and it's music you can actually get LOST IN! I dont know about you, but I liek ghetting lost, so if I can accomplish that by putting on a c.d. then that much better!

Laslty and most importantly, Modest Mouse, well it makes you smile, seriously. I ride my bike everyday 2 miles, sometimes twice a day...and since I started taking them along as my soundtrack I have found myself randomly smiling and waving at people I don't know. You cant help but smile at the lyrics, at Isaac's voice at everything about them which is not normal for the spikey-haired normally introverted anti-social punk chick. It's nice though, and if a c.d. can make you smile...well that's nearly a miracle.

So there you have a few reasons to give these guys a try! Seriously, go buy their new c.d., or even The Moon and Antartica if you can find a copy and give it a shot. Sure, none of what I said above may happen to you, but I'm sure something will happen, it's impossible to listen to these guys and just write them off as nothing special. Maybe that's just me speaking though because I have music in my veins like a life-blood, if you took it away I would die. That simple, so music is never just some words and crap to me. I always search down the meanings and inspirations behind songs and the people who create them. Seriously though, LISTEN TO MODEST MOUSE!

Ok, so now that I have sufficently plugged MM let's move on, shall we? I think I will plug myself now. GO READ MY DAMN SHORT STORY! Please? It's at THIS DIARY and I want feedback on it. I would honestly, sincerely appreciate it! READ! READ! READ! It isn't that bad, I promise...really. Well, ok I really don't know, but I hope it isn't.

Next onto another subject. Religion, OoOOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOOoO touchy subject! Almost as bad as politics {I have no intention of dissapointing, I'm going to go there right after this.} I have a issue with religion, I have a issue over the fact that it IS a issue. I am a pagan-Buddhist. I know, I know...frigging contradictions, how can I do that?
Erm, because that's how I believe, and it isn't entirely your concern. True, they are clashing beliefs, at least a bit, but I pull things from where I believe in them. So what if I am a Pagan? I was raised Irish Catholic, I WENT to catholic school....but I'm not a catholic, not out of rebellion or boredom, but out of disbelief in that particular SET of beliefs. They didn't jive, so I dropped them and went, to find my own, which I found. I'm happy with that, do you mind? I have been friend's with atheists, agnostics, christian scientologists, jews, pagans, buddhists, daoists and so on and so forth. I have also been friends with peopel from more controversial religions but I wont bother mentioning, because even mentioning it is going to insight a riot and three and a half tons of mad max bullshit I dont want to deal with. In any case, my point being, I accept EVERYONE, I dont care how you believe. For instance I know several brilliant people like my friend Rach who is so intelligent and smart andun-kind bone in her body! She's also a atheist. So be it.

I know a girl who is tolerant, loving, understanding and willing to accept me despite our vast, major differences and place me within her heart. She is a Christian and devoted to the Lord, but Tai is one of my best friends.

Then there's Jo, whom I mention here because her entry on this inspired mine, and because she mentioned me {Blushes} and because she's also amazingly tolerant of my eccentricities as it were.

Then we have Elnara, incredibly sweet, patient, peeaceful and loving. She's a great friend and always in my heart. She is a pagan.
The list goes on and on, Christians who believe in faeries and magic, atheists who are interested in buddhism, hell my x-boyfriend believed in NO RELIGION AT ALL...but was interested in every single one, thusly he has a cross, a star of David, a buddhist symbol, and a pagan symbol tattooed on his body. So basically, do not by any means judge a book by it's cover. It's important to respect people's religions, it's important to realize not all Chistians are judgemental, not all pagans are the wicked witch of the west and so on. Also, like Jo mentioned being religious DOES NOT make your superior. If you gain enlightenment and wish to share, give advice by all means but let's not be all hoighty-toighty about it ok? That's bullshit there is what that is. Bullshit! I mean give advice, especially to those who ask, but do not preach to people who do not wish to hear.....also even more importantly realize that just because your christian that you cannot recieve enlightening advice from a pagan or a buddhist AND vice-versa! Ask Rachel, she's a atheist and despite that she's interested in my discoveries, and I respect that, because I respect her.

Ok, nuff' said.

Now, on to politics the other big "no-no" area. Firstly let me be honest. I am a registered Deocrat, I can defend my political party affiliation by my platform on global alliances, ideas, on homeland security.......so on and so on. I AM believe it or not, politically well informed. As a matter of fact I type this to you with the presidental debate on here behind me, and yes, I am going to watch it ALL.....just like I did with the other debate and the vice presidental debate. Now, I am not here to run down our President, that's predictable, other people have done that in their journals a million >times. What I am here to talk about is voting.

Yep, voting. If you can, if you are of age, there is NO EXCUSE not to get up and do it. There isn't, it's one of few waysyour voice can be heard, it's once, every four years where you can help make decisions about this country. Like it or not, it is our country. Sure, I think ALOT of things about it need to be fixed, prejudice, tax issues, the war in Iraq...but none of it MATTERS if you dont get up off your ass and DO SOMETHING about it in November. I am not kidding.

I don't propose you vote for Kerry, or Bush, I don't. That is not why I am here. I just say research the issues, our candidates have web-sites, GO TO THEM, read them. Make your decisions based off of YOUR OWN belief system. Listen to them, there's another debate left, watch it. Sure you have the right NOT to vote, but then, in my opinon, you have no fucking right WHATSOEVER to bitch about the state of the country. So do the informed thing and make a decision, and do not let anyone violate your rights by telling you that your vote doesnt count. The election in 2000 was decided on 500 something votes......now you TELL ME that those 500 people did NOT make a difference.

This election is important, I won't tell you why I am voting the way I am, because I want you to inform yourself. My opinon is just that, my opinon and that is why I'm voting for myself and not all of you. It's YOUR job to go do that.

So do it, or I'll chase you down with a big stick.

Now,on a completley random note...I GOT TO TALK TO JAMIE! I got to talk to Jamie! Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! She has the most beautiful voice, and she's insane, and so much fun, and so sweet, and so AMAZINGLY cool to talk to! She made me laugh and I adore her even more!

MY CHRISTMAS B/DAY WISH LIST! FINE! YOU WIN HERE IT IS!Allright, now the thing I had been dreading but I suppose it needs to be done. A few of you have e-mailed me and such reminding me my birthday is coming {thanks alot...lol} as is Christmas, and to please provide a wish-list! I hate these bloody things, I really do, but I also hate being difficult to shop for. Usually my lists are REALLY vague, and I sent a vague list to Jo and got reprimanded for my list making skills, so I have slowly added a few things and tried to be more specific, so now, for anyone who cares here is a uber-specific list. I hope it helps! I will also provide links where at all possible to said items so [A. You can see what I mean [B. So you know where to find it and [C. To make life ALOT easier for you I have made crap lists before, so hopefully this one passes Jo's test!LOL!

Sizes

If the shirt is like a girl's shirt, like a fitted tee or tank top I wear a large because my chest is...well ample. If it's a t-shirt that isn't fitted I can wear a medium. I think that's all you'll need but because Jo asked me for them, and I happen to have them here are my measurements. Look at your own risk.

Bust=39-40 inches

Waist=28-29 inches

Hips=38-39 inches

Ok, NECA the toy company is making a talking 18 inch Captain Jack Sparrow action figure. Mostly to be found in malls in places like Hot Topics and Spencers and also on-line. There is a smiley captain jack and a serious one, I am intersted in the serious one but will be happy with either and want both. Tis a very cool thing on top Of my list because I havent even seen them here in Florida yet! Stupid Hurricanes have messed up toy shipments! Possibly find one on e-bay, Pictures Here but they haven't shipped to the U.S. yet so everything is pre-order. Best bet is E-Bay.

Ok nextly, and just as important and despratley wanted is Modest Mouse stuff. Yea, that's vague huh? Seriously though, here in FL no one has a clue who I'm on about. Like I said, it took me like a month and a half to find "Moon and Antartica" so they are un-known and non-existent in my area. So basically I am DYING for any of the following c.d.'s, T-SHIRTS! I must have T-Shirts, I cant even find one, much less own one! Posters, stickers, pins, random merchandise of any kind whatsoever is MUCHLY appreciated! Even the tiniest Modest Mouse thing will make my day......and if someone, anuyone out there can get me something signed by the band I SWEAR I will build a shrine in your honor complete with candles, incense and other such stuff. Seriously, if you send me that, I will worship you forever....I don't care if they signed a stuffed beaver, I'll gladly take it. I know that's a insane thing to have on my Christmas list but last year I asked for Billy Boyd's autograph and I GOT IT! Squeee! Thank you Tina, plus I kinda have a autograph collection going now so yea.....~Makes puppy eyes~ Please someone? Your best bet, well ONLY bet unless you are FAR smarter than me, or know the band personally is going to be to go to e-bay and just type in Modest Mouse I think. I have "Good News for peopel who lvoe bad news" and "The Moon and Antartica" so any other c.d.'s are free game!

Let's see, nextly. Pirates of The Caribbean stuff. That's practically anything as well. I know, I know be more specific. Ok, I have a few POTC shirts allready, all from Hot Topics that being the Red Jack tank top, the Black tee with a oval frame of Jack, and the movie poster version tee of Jack, so those I have. Ermmm, there's a Jack Hoodie Thingie I'd like {in large please, I like my hoodies large}, ermmmm a Jack long-sleeved shirt that matches the hoodie. Also a Jack throw blanket I would be very grateful to have. Also any shirts not listed above. Also stickers, pins, posters especially....ehll ANYTHING POTC related is good because minus thes shirts I dont have much, so it's a safe bet! The throw and long-sleeved shirt weren't on the website but check there anyways, and check your local store.
Also from Hot Topics we have LOTR items. Now....let's see, I have the black Frodo shirt with Frodo in blue and the elvish writing in pink, I also have the brown merry and pippin shirt, I have a black merry and pippin shirt with the writing in green. So basically anything else, namely the Green Frodo Shirt because I love green, the new Merry and Pippin green shirt, and the Elrond Shirt is also good, hell even Aragorn, dont have a Aragorn shirt yet. Also any stickers, buttons, patches, same as above applies...posters and such are fine as well. Any LOTR merchandise especially pertaining to Boromir, Merry and Pip, Haldir, Frodo, Galadriel and Shelob! Just go to the Hot Topics website and type in Lord of The Rings. Huzzah! Um and no one get any funny ideas about buying me the Faramir shirt ok? Seriously!

Harry Potter stuff. Also a good option, especially if it involves Slytherin Oliver Wood, Draco, Lucius or Lupin......they have some stuff at Hot Topics, and also I have little HP merchandise other than the books, movies and soundtracks so a shirt would be great just make sure it doesnt have harry, ron or hermione on it. Also posters.....random stuff! This is a Cute shirt and this one is Cool

My Little Ponies/Fairy Tail Birds. Ok I DOUBT anyone is going to go here since it requires e-bay but if you want to, e-mail me and I'll give you a list of what I allready own. If I put i here now it would take up two tons of room, and I feel dumb enough doing this allready.Once again, E-bay.
Ok, two books "Hen Frigates" and "She Captains: Heroines and Hellions of The Sea" both books by Joan Druett, both about female pirates, no better subject those two especially but any of hers are good, here's a linkie to the Joan Druett Books. Any Piratey-type books are welcome! On the subject of books I adore Pirate Books, books of poetry, books about ships in general and the history of ships, and of course fantasy books! Also the following books by Gregory Maguire "Mirror Mirror", "Wicked" and "Confessions of An Ugly Stepsister" These Be The Books Also some more Pirate-Y type books I would LOVE! Here Here Here And Here and books are always a very welcome gift, because I read alot, and I read really fast!LOL!

Serendipity Books, ok I collect these old kids type books, you can find them on-line on e-bay and in some other places like amazon I think, I LOVE these books and only have two {Thanks Alix} so these would be very welcome! Some can be found Here Flutterby-Fly was my childhood favorite! Everyone should read these books!

Pirate-Y Things, stuff that isn't nessecarily POTC related but stuff like books, maps, things to decorate with, pirate-y type shirts, cool pirate hats, a frigging eye-patch, stickers....I DONT CARE! Random pirate-y things are very welcome. Pirate-Y Stuff and anythign else you can dredge up.

Ok, now for some completley random things I like to give you more ideas.
I love Ki-Rins, these are japanese-oriental unicorns so anything relating to them is great! I also LOVE, LOVE, LOVE Foo Dogs! I collect these obsessivley and have 5 sets so far so any dogs of the foo persuasion is great! I also like Beluga whales, not whales, just Belugas. Stingrays are also another fave creature of mine. I am also obsessive over Si and Am {the evil as hell siamese cats from Lady and The Tramp} and Malifecent {evil sorceress from Sleeping Beauty} so anything at all of theirs, even if it's childish and kid-like is a bonus, especially those evil cats! BWHAHAHA! Erm, let's see I wear silver only, not gold, and my favorite stone is amber. Random Faeries or tinkerbell stuff is also good, as is Rancid merchandise. Ok um, what else?WEIRD PLUSHIES, like bizzare creepy dolls and plushies that you find in Hot Topics, and also weird purses like my Pirate Queen purse {Thanks Georgie}, any types of weird purses at all, cutsey and flat out bizzare! I love purses like some people love shoes. Some random bits and pieces from Hot Topics like this umbrella which is to cute {I love the HT Emily stuff.} I also lvoe pins because they decorate my purses so here are some examples this and this this one especially Pippin This one is cute YAY Pirates! Flaming Kitty I really like this one Ok also patches, these as well go on my purses and pants and...well on everything......Tinkerbell Pretty Fairy and my real love...STICKERS! YAY! Think I may Get This as a Tattoo! To Frelling Funny Yep, that's me Squeee! Emily Kitties! OH MY GOD!~ROTFL~ So appropriate for Florida! Fell Beast! I must have this! I have the patch! Dont ask me Why Ugh...this is TAKING FOREVER! I am determined to make the best and most helpful list possible though.
Good God, I hope that helps someone, and I never want to do this again. If you have any questions just mail me, I'll answer as best as possible!
I also collect LOTR action figures but that can get confusing so if you REALLY want to get me some of those than mail me for a list of owned stuff.

I REALLY hope that helps somebody, sincerely.....and um, if you'll pardon me, I must be off, those mauve faeries are jigging on top of the microwave again.

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