I ask only for the strength to defend my people.

The Empress of Cardinals
( 2004-05-01 @ 12:35 a.m. )

Firstly however I am putting a call out to all of my Sisters/Other peopel who read this diary. As you may or may not know, I avidly collect My Little Ponies, my collection was stolen when we moved and I was 12. Well I am still searching them out

PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE if you have any hidden away and dont want them let me know! Maybe we can work out a deal! I really want to give all ponies good homes.

I will also happily take any other 80's toys, especially Fairy Tail Birds, Rose Petal Place dolls, She-Ra, Jem and The Holograms, Furrever Friends {kitt cats that had tail attachments you could velcro on}, Keypers, Perfume Pets and Little Pretties, Shimmers, Moondreamers etc. Dont know what it is? Describe it to me, chances are I can help you identify it! PLEASE I WANT TOYS!

Also there are THESE.........Serendipity Books. Here is a link, maybe that will jog your memory. HERE they are I AM DESPERATE for these. I had been trying to remember for 2 or 3 years what these books were called, and I quite accidentley stumbled across it last night. These books were literally MY WORLD when I was a kid. I would do just about darn near anything to get some of them back, so if anyone has any and would consider parting with them. LET ME KNOW! E-mail is above but it is

miserythemalkie@hotmail.com

And here I am again, updating sproadically, stupidly sitting here wondering...."And now I say what exactly?"

Well I know what not to say if THAT helps any. Probably not, it never does seem to help....at all.

So instead I will go on another frivolous adventure with words, sometimes this stuff means things to people........more importantly it means something to me.

Can you ride a unicorn?

No....they dont exist....

No......it would never allow it...

Yes, of course I can.

Have you ever noticed how stupidly, the simplest answers in life are the ones that matter? The ones that actually work in the end? So simple it's almost embarassing you didnt think of it sooner?

Like the stars, how we have all been taught they are complex balls of gas and refracted light, millions of miles away, blah blah blabbity blah.

Why in THE HELL should they be? Would you like to tell me WHY they cannot be what they seem? Beautiful, shimmering balls of light placed there by Faeries, or by small, serpentine, jewelled dragons. Oh, right....because that's to SIMPLE of a answer.

It's to simple-minded to think that, much less actually believe it.

To illustrate just this I quote from one of my favorite books "The Red Unicorn" by Tanith Lee.

"We're so high up now, we'r flying into the stars."

"No, that's impossible," said Tanaquil

But it was not impossible.

Tanaquil knew, from her mothers early lessons, that all stars were suns, huge balls of flame and gas, millions of miles from any world. But here, in this curious place it seemed the stars of the rose constellation at least were like the stars she had imagined as a little girl.

And now the unicorn sailed among them.

Far more than could be ocunted from below, they hung, trembling slowly, sparkling and spangling, some as great as a palace, some even larger, some the same size as Tanaquil herself. And there were others, small as apples, as cherries, but all revolving, burning bright. Their glassy silveryness was washed with pale sapphire and jade, with specks of flame and soft dazzles of lightning. They were liek giant opals, like diamonds. And yet, they were stars, stars as stars should be, with no reason to them, no science, no logical down to earth answer."

And a couple of pages later we have this.

"It's silly," nagged Tanakil. "Everything can't be as straightforward as this-"

"Perhaps it is. Perhaps everything always is. Even the terrible things. Even the heartbreakign things. Perhaps the answer is there and it's so simple we never see it."

Exactly.

Everything is looked at under a microscope now, pathetic really. So scientific, so cold. No more magic exists, and is that because we scared it away? Or is it because we are so damn blind we refuse to allow ourselves to see it?

There is no reason why you should not continue to see things as you see fit, no reason why you cant see the fae, the unicorns, the dragons........no reason why you cant search for your home. No reason why it should all be lost to you. Mostly these things are to complicated to other people. Beauty has to be broken down to explain WHY it is. "Look at her eyes, or perhaps it's her hair....hmm, no maybe her full lips." NO SHES JUST BEAUTIFUL! Simple right? Oh yes, to simple.......

Magic lies in simplicity in some form, in simple awe-inspiring, breathtaking beauty. The kind that makes you tremble, or makes your knees turn weak. The simple beauty that allows you to see what you want to see, and perhaps what is really there to begin with.

It is this simplicity that allows me to run with unciorns, to lie safe with Boromir, to be a beautiful elven princess. If you cant see this in me then you are blind, and you are a fool......and I well and truly pity you for walking through life blind and unfulfilled.

Stars will always be suns, stories will always be just words, and magic will fail to breathe around you.

For the most part I think again we have scared magic away in a attempt to be safe. To keep away that which we dont understand, or comprehend. Some of us however simply shrug, and run off into the forest.

So, yes, the simple answer is often best...what you think you saw, you saw.........and your dreams are really reality. After all if they are your world....they would be reality wouldnt they?

Now I apologize ahead of time, for this entry skipping around everywhere, just keep in mind that I do this sometimes when Im trying to be inspirational, it comes out a garbled mess.

Someone, well my Kate asked me what I live for the other day?

I ambled on, my writing, my poetry....my friends then I paused, I had skipped over the simple answer.

Magic, I live for magic........

It's that simple. It really is, take for instance my bikeride at 6 am this morning. I was listening to some lovley, instrumental oriental music....and I rode along, everytime I do this, I SWEAR EVERY cardinal in my town follows me, diving and swooping in their own display. They get very close to me.....suddenyl I was a mress calmly surveying her morning domain, noting with bemusement the people hurrying on their way, late to work as I instead noted the cardinals, the butterflies, stopepd to pick wildflowers and pry some wild tangerines down from a tree.....I was The Empress of The Cardinals on a bike? NEVER.....

A cobalt blue unicorn.

Yes indeed, I saw the brown fox peeping out at me, paying silent homage, the butterflies dancing about me, but best of all the cardinals, determined to have my full attention.

So yes, I am The Empress of Cradinals, and I live and breathe magic...and I ride unicorns.

Home Is Behind...

The World Ahead...

Home Is Behind // The World Ahead